My Routine
Since heading off to college roughly 5 years ago, I haven't had a very stable day-to-day routine. But now that I've pretty firmly settled into the new job and new location, I think it's worth examining the mundane rituals I have adopted to see if they provide any information on who I've become since the dark days of high school.
7:30 a.m.
Alarm clock goes off, but is quickly silenced by my left hand smacking the snooze button. 9 out of 10 mornings, this will also knock something else off the nightstand, which is cool because that sound actually wakes me up more efficiently than the BRRRRNNTTT BRRRRNNTTT BRRRRNNTTT of the alarm clock.
7:45 a.m.
Alarm goes off again -- this time I actually slide the switch that turns off the buzzer. This is no small commitment -- once that slider is moved, I can no longer go back to sleep because I've destroyed my safety net. If I lay my head back down on the pillow during this crucial juncture, I risk falling back asleep until 9:15, at which point I awake wide-eyed and curse at the clock for some reason.
7:55 a.m.
I shuffle over to the shower and try to figure out how ten minutes passed while I was shuffling. I continue to ponder this wormhole in time as I fiddle with the hot/cold knobs of my shower. Eventually I find the correct combination of adjustments to keep the water temperature between "ice" and "magma" long enough for me to get wet.
8:05 a.m.
When I should get out of the shower.
8:15 a.m.
When I actually get out of the shower. The ten-minute wormhole is in full effect when the inside of the shower is warm and the outside is so, so cold. At this point I brush my teeth, floss and attempt to put my contacts in.
8:17 a.m.
Left contact is in. (The easy one)
8:23 a.m.
Right contact is in. (The hard one that makes me blink and squint).
8:25 a.m.
I usually lay my clothes out the night before, or at least try to give my waking mind some semblance of an idea where to find clothes in the morning. Otherwise I'd spend 15 minutes trying to figure out what matches with forest green in the middle of a dark bedroom.
8:30 a.m.
I grab breakfast -- either cheerios or some other cereal -- and watch exactly 2 minutes of Sportscenter while I eat. At this point in the broadcast they are always covering A. NBA standings (ugh) or B. The Ultimate Highlight (sweet!). The rest of my day is determined by this moment.
Just kidding.
8:35 a.m.
I feel all my pockets to make sure I have everything, and then I head out the door.
8:40 a.m.
I start the car and realize I need to defrost the windows. Crap, I'm going to be late.
8: 43 a.m.
Still defrosting...
8:45 a.m.
Why didn't I just use the scraper?
8:50 a.m.
Ok, I can see a little bit -- probably enough to drive.
8:51 a.m.
Ok, bad idea...I totally can't see anything!
9:12 a.m.
I make it to work twelve minutes late and my windows are still frosted over. But everyone else in the office has to drive against traffic and won't be in until 9:30! Sweeet.
And there you have it. Unless you're my mom, in which case you shouldn't believe any of this because I make it to work early every morning and get a gold star from my boss for the effort.
7:30 a.m.
Alarm clock goes off, but is quickly silenced by my left hand smacking the snooze button. 9 out of 10 mornings, this will also knock something else off the nightstand, which is cool because that sound actually wakes me up more efficiently than the BRRRRNNTTT BRRRRNNTTT BRRRRNNTTT of the alarm clock.
7:45 a.m.
Alarm goes off again -- this time I actually slide the switch that turns off the buzzer. This is no small commitment -- once that slider is moved, I can no longer go back to sleep because I've destroyed my safety net. If I lay my head back down on the pillow during this crucial juncture, I risk falling back asleep until 9:15, at which point I awake wide-eyed and curse at the clock for some reason.
7:55 a.m.
I shuffle over to the shower and try to figure out how ten minutes passed while I was shuffling. I continue to ponder this wormhole in time as I fiddle with the hot/cold knobs of my shower. Eventually I find the correct combination of adjustments to keep the water temperature between "ice" and "magma" long enough for me to get wet.
8:05 a.m.
When I should get out of the shower.
8:15 a.m.
When I actually get out of the shower. The ten-minute wormhole is in full effect when the inside of the shower is warm and the outside is so, so cold. At this point I brush my teeth, floss and attempt to put my contacts in.
8:17 a.m.
Left contact is in. (The easy one)
8:23 a.m.
Right contact is in. (The hard one that makes me blink and squint).
8:25 a.m.
I usually lay my clothes out the night before, or at least try to give my waking mind some semblance of an idea where to find clothes in the morning. Otherwise I'd spend 15 minutes trying to figure out what matches with forest green in the middle of a dark bedroom.
8:30 a.m.
I grab breakfast -- either cheerios or some other cereal -- and watch exactly 2 minutes of Sportscenter while I eat. At this point in the broadcast they are always covering A. NBA standings (ugh) or B. The Ultimate Highlight (sweet!). The rest of my day is determined by this moment.
Just kidding.
8:35 a.m.
I feel all my pockets to make sure I have everything, and then I head out the door.
8:40 a.m.
I start the car and realize I need to defrost the windows. Crap, I'm going to be late.
8: 43 a.m.
Still defrosting...
8:45 a.m.
Why didn't I just use the scraper?
8:50 a.m.
Ok, I can see a little bit -- probably enough to drive.
8:51 a.m.
Ok, bad idea...I totally can't see anything!
9:12 a.m.
I make it to work twelve minutes late and my windows are still frosted over. But everyone else in the office has to drive against traffic and won't be in until 9:30! Sweeet.
And there you have it. Unless you're my mom, in which case you shouldn't believe any of this because I make it to work early every morning and get a gold star from my boss for the effort.
posted by Jake and Elspeth at 10:35:00 AM
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