He Promises, She Promises
In my never-ending quest to become independently wealthy (haha) I've enrolled in Upromise, a credit card reward program that transfers a percentage of my spending towards my student loans. Boring, right? Well, after being enrolled for a few months and making a whopping $25 towards my loans, I'm starting to have some fun with it.
Have you ever been to the grocery store just to pick up a few incongruous items? For example, I once went to Giant to pick up a set of batteries for my depleted mp3 player and to grab some flowers for my girlfriend (either I was bad or she was good, I can't remember). So I step up to the register with these two items, lay them on the produce treadmill and grab my wallet. The cashier picks up my items and looks and me oddly. "Have quite an evening planned, eh?," she says.
I stare back at her. She stares at the flowers. I stare at the flowers. She stares at the batteries. I stare at the batteries. She stares at me and then winks. I (slowly) put two and two together, thinking of the possible evening activities one could participate in with a fresh pack of energizers and flowers for a loved one.
Wait a tick...did the cashier just make a vibrator joke?
I guess I'll never know, because I grabbed my items and rushed out the automatic door before my traitorous mind could concoct any mental images.
So, back on topic -- Upromise basically tracks your grocery spending and in return for this vital information, refunds a couple of cents back. So if I'm whoring out my fruity pebbles loving privacy, why not have a bit of fun?
Upromise statement for 1/01/06
Lean Cuisine Meal for One -------------- .14
Economy Size Wine Box ------------------ .12
Upromise statement for 1/06/06
Preparation H Cream -------------------- .06
Giant donut holes ---------------------- .03
Tenderloin ----------------------------- .08
Upromise statement for 1/13/06
Kix ------------------------------------ .10
Assorted Nuts -------------------------- .05
Blueberries ---------------------------- .07
Upromise statement for 1/20/06
Lubriderm ------------------------------ .11
Maxim Mag ------------------------------ .10
Meat Tenderizer ------------------------ .02
Sometimes a reward program is its own reward.
Have you ever been to the grocery store just to pick up a few incongruous items? For example, I once went to Giant to pick up a set of batteries for my depleted mp3 player and to grab some flowers for my girlfriend (either I was bad or she was good, I can't remember). So I step up to the register with these two items, lay them on the produce treadmill and grab my wallet. The cashier picks up my items and looks and me oddly. "Have quite an evening planned, eh?," she says.
I stare back at her. She stares at the flowers. I stare at the flowers. She stares at the batteries. I stare at the batteries. She stares at me and then winks. I (slowly) put two and two together, thinking of the possible evening activities one could participate in with a fresh pack of energizers and flowers for a loved one.
Wait a tick...did the cashier just make a vibrator joke?
I guess I'll never know, because I grabbed my items and rushed out the automatic door before my traitorous mind could concoct any mental images.
So, back on topic -- Upromise basically tracks your grocery spending and in return for this vital information, refunds a couple of cents back. So if I'm whoring out my fruity pebbles loving privacy, why not have a bit of fun?
Upromise statement for 1/01/06
Lean Cuisine Meal for One -------------- .14
Economy Size Wine Box ------------------ .12
Upromise statement for 1/06/06
Preparation H Cream -------------------- .06
Giant donut holes ---------------------- .03
Tenderloin ----------------------------- .08
Upromise statement for 1/13/06
Kix ------------------------------------ .10
Assorted Nuts -------------------------- .05
Blueberries ---------------------------- .07
Upromise statement for 1/20/06
Lubriderm ------------------------------ .11
Maxim Mag ------------------------------ .10
Meat Tenderizer ------------------------ .02
Sometimes a reward program is its own reward.
posted by Jake and Elspeth at 10:03:00 AM
2 Comments:
so good I'm still trying to fully get it ... scratch that, my grandkids will still be scratching their heads! (hence why I would add head and shoulders to my upromise list)
Absolutely hilarious. And believable. And a little sad.
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