Tuesday, December 27, 2005

'Tis Better to Give than Recieve

Alright, so here in the working world, this is a slow week. Most everyone with more than a handful of vacation days are taking this time off, so there's a grand total of three people on my corner of the floor. So, in an attempt to make the hours pass more rapidly, I'm going to rate my Christmas gifts on a scale of 1 eggnogs (being grinchiest) to 5 eggnogs (being...rudolphiest?). Here goes nothing:

1 Target Floor Lamp (with shelving)
With great age comes great responsibility, or something like that -- as I get older, my presents grow more and more practical. What was once a remote control truck is now a toaster, and so forth. My mom, upon seeing the less than ample lighting in my apartment bedroom, decided to provide some illumination with a stylish floor lamp. What it lacks in flashiness it makes up for in function. 3/5 eggnogs (thanks grandma and grandpa!)

1 Toaster (from Oster)
I wasn't lying about the toaster. It toasts. Or at least I suppose it does -- I haven't plugged it in yet. But it is quite shiney. A for the effort, 3/5 eggnogs. (thanks grandma and grandpa!)

1 Postal Service CD
I actually bought this for myself around a year ago, but lost it somehow and have been too cheap to replace it. I blamed my sister for losing it, but to this day she swears she's never even heard of the band (likely story, sis!) I listened to it on the drive back home, so for that convenience alone, 5/5 eggnogs (thanks mom and dad, no thanks sis)

1 Box of Lifesaver Candies in Storybook Form
Ok, so my aunt gets this for me every year. I can't really rag on it, it's sweet in a double-meaning kind of way. But sometimes they toss the weirdest flavors in there. Sour butternut crunch? For that, lifesavers, you are demoted! 1/5 eggnogs (thanks Aunt Jan!)

1 Darth Tater
I am the proud owner of a darth tater -- correct -- it is a mr. potato head dressed like the lord of the dark side. Sell your stocks, marketing has officially ruined the world. But in truth, darth tater is so much cooler than the actually darth vader at this point that I can't help but be psyched. Plus, his ass opens up to store the leftover pieces. That earns a bonus eggnog. 4/5 eggnogs. (thanks Jesse!)

1 Tshirt from Times Square, New York
My sister bought each member of my family a tshirt from New York, birthplace of the 99 cent tshirt. But I love it for its humble beginnings, and for the fact that smells slightly like an unwashed hotdog cart on avenue of the Americas. 4/5 eggnogs (thanks Sis!)

And finally...

1 Frisbee Golf Disc from the Allentown Disc Golf Championships, Complete with Artistic Amish Man Painting
Most unique, creepy, wonderful, personal and fascinating gift I received. I am astounded that it exists, and even more astounded that it now hangs in my apartment. Since it is also number 170 out of 172 in a limited supply, I may someday profit from its collector status. In short, BEST GIFT EVER. 5/5 eggnogs, plus an extra shot of rum. (thanks Laurie!)

Well, that about wraps (punny!) it up. It's not a complete list, and I forgot to mention the totally awesome dartboard (5 eggnogs) and the toothpaste (1 eggnog), but still a plentiful holiday with plenty for which I am thankful.


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