Happy bday mom!

My mom's birthday is coming up, and I unfortunately can't make it home this year. But I know she'd like nothing better than a little tribute, so here goes:

Mom,

Thanks for taking care of me that time I thought Jesse put medicated foot powder in my drink. Most mom's would have babied their sons, telling them that everything would be alright and that their little brother was really a monster in disguise. But not you -- you told me to stop worrying and go back to bed. And without a full night's rest, I wouldn't have been able to wake up early and punch Jesse in the stomach while he was sleeping. You were always one step ahead of me.

Thanks for laughing that time when I fell off the swingset and landed with the heel of my foot going up my butt. Even then, you knew I was destined to entertain, and you chuckled and applauded my early efforts at physical comedy, even though I was half certain I had broken my coccyx.

Thanks for explaining the word coccyx. (giggle).

Thanks for the time my birthday came around and you took me to a phillies game instead of making a cake. I promised myself that if the phillies won that day, I would never give you a hard time about not baking a cake.

Thank you phillies for not winning and providing me with a lifelong running gag.

Thank you for cursing like a sailor around the house so that my friends think I'm tough and Laurie stops beating me up.

Finally, thanks for all the real stuff, like reading the comics out loud during car trips, making snacks for the drive-ins, making me watch Mr. Rogers as a kid and all the other junk I forgot to mention. Happy birthday!