Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Not about zombies...

I promised myself this wouldn't be about zombies -- so instead I'm going to write a pro/con article comparing Laurie to Super Mario Brothers 3.

Category: Physique
Laurie: Short, Italian, no mustache
SMB3: Short, Italian, large mustache
Winner: Laurie (I like my woman clean-shaven and my video games portraying stereotypes)

Category: Durability

Laurie: Once fell off the couch, no apparent lasting damage.
SMB3: Once lost under the couch, needed to be
cleaned and blowed upon.
Winner: Laurie (She might be klutzy, but she is impeccably dust free)

Category: Fashion
Laurie: Capris
Large Green Boot
Winner: SMB3 (Capris work for high water, but what about stomping on spikes?)

Category: Graphics
Laurie: Incredible 3d rendering.
SMB3: 2d Goombas.
Winner: Laurie (although, technically, she is a
3d goomba)

Category: Replayability
SMB3: Good for hours of enjoyment.
Laurie: One and done.
Winner: SMB3 (I need to stop before this turns dirty)

Category: Star-Power
SMB3: Knows
Fred Savage.
Laurie: Knows the entire male Full House cast
Winner: Neither one -- I pity both

Overall Winner: Laurie managed to hold on to her early lead despite a warp-whistle-like ascent by mario in the later rounds. Congratulations, Laurie! (Hopefully I post enough pictures to hide this before you get back from vacation...)


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